One of the things I most dislike about me
is my ability to lose interest in things over time. It’s rooted in the novelty
of things wearing off, and slipping from a state of wonder to mundane routine. Like a child that is ecstatic on Christmas day to see that toy under the tree, starting to play with it immediately and repeatedly and slowly losing interest over it till new year's eve. But the most distressing of it’s instances are when it’s associated not with
things, but people. People have stopped surprising me. I was watching Star
Trek, and I envisioned what it’d be like – and how I’d never grow tired of
looking out those starships and star-bases and seeing an ocean of stars
around me. But then I began to ponder, what if even that magnificent vista would
become boring one day?
I shudder in horror at the thought. Not
that it matters because interstellar travel is still a stuff of dreams, and even if it does become reality, I
probably won’t ever leave our little blue planet on account of my condition or
even the human condition (hehe…). Nonetheless, this thought is driving me to
the brink of insanity. Why can’t I appreciate people and things for longer
amounts of time? Why do I give in to this urge to take things for granted? Why
do I perish at the hands of augmented boredom?
It worries me that I’ll never have a
long-term relationship because of it. Or a friendship that really pervades
through time. People over time get cumbersomely predictable, things get boring
and dull and the march of time makes all mundane.
I remember, sitting in my room in Ladakh,
looking at those imposing mountains at the end of my stay of three months in that blissful land and even the majesty
of it all, that had left me speechless when I'd arrived, was starting to wear
off and becoming a little too routine. So in a way, I was glad to leave for I
long for those mountains again!
That longing, in itself, is a painful yet delicious treat
in it’s own right.
No comments:
Post a Comment